Funny thing about getting older. The feeling that you are running out of time starts hinting around your head. The feeling that the future is bright seems somewhat less shiny. and things like a quarter of a century whiz by at a lightening pace. My daughters 26th birthday was today . My favorite years of my life was being an active parent to her and her brother. I feel my role as parent is finished since I have done everything possible to prepare them for the adulthood they are living. I can say I did the best I can and the end result seems even better than I expected. I hope for success in what ever they pursue. One lesson they taught me was no matter what I wanted for them, that their dream is stronger. Willfulness seems to be a strong virtue. Listening to what my elders said to me, well, I had my own ideas. Of course, I should have listened to my elders. My career has rewarded me and cursed me. A never ending list of things to accomplish most days. Some days I think I really am terrible at my job, even though I have done my job for 39 years. When I think about doing this 6 months shy of 40 years. It hits me how much time has gone by. Like I hit a brick wall.
Mostly when I think of how I am changing the most, is my want to get things done list and the desire to actually get the things done. Not to mention, getting the said things done requires more energy and did I mention motivation? Of course it does not help that I am lugging around more weight than I need to be lugging around. No thanks to my broken metabolism. As hot as I am temperature wise, you would think something is burning calories in there. As much as I am active around the house, you would think I could lose some pounds here and there. I even went to the gym and started going regularly and still nothing. Not even the increased stamina. Of course, perhaps I should go back to my doctor so she can not believe any of my attempts of trying to lose my starvation pillow, aka my food baby. Any way. I only wish I did not get hungry so I can live without the food that I apparently do not need.
Enough of this weird entry/ almost like a diary entry. I am convinced no one reads this so I feel safe.
My positive vibes get lost sometimes and I need to refocus and see only the positive . Peace out.
